"You know, we can't ever get married."

I stared at the ceiling tiles.

"I know."

"You know, we can't ever have children."

I kept on staring.

"I know."

"You know, we can't grow older together."

My eyes started to sting with dryness.

"I know."

"You know, I won't be here for very long."

My vision began to blur.

.
.
.

Then I closed my eyes.

"Did you know that after you're gone I won't ever love anyone else."

She squeezed my hand tightly, and whispered into the air with a choked sob,


"I know."

It was past visiting hours last night, but I stayed like usual anyways.

I think the nurses knew I was staying late, but I think they also knew our circumstances. So they let it slide.

It was the fifth straight day that she had to stay in the hospital; the longest yet. Sooner or later I'd be in the same position, so I thought I better get used to it. Looking back at her sleeping body, I thought all the things that someone in my position would think.

Soon she'd just be a body.

Soon there would be no rise in her chest.

Soon she'd just be an amalgamation of elements compounded into a fleshy mass that used to be a living human.

Then the I would also remember that my fate would soon be the same.

Opening the blinds to let the moonlight stride in, I wiggled my way into her bed. Hey eyes opened abruptly, as she adjusted herself to the evanescent glow that filled the hospital room.

"I thought you were asleep."

She smiled slightly before answering. "Nope. I'm never asleep at this time."

"You really should get your sleep."

Adjusting my torso so that I was laying on my side, I rested my head on her pillow and closed my eyes.

I could hear her ruffling around in the sheets before she settled down and spoke again. "I like the way you stare at me while you think I'm asleep."

Keeping my eyes closed, I smiled.

"How would you know how I'm looking at you if you're eyes are closed?"

"I just know."

I let out a stifled laugh, still keeping my eyes shut.

A few minutes passed before she said something again.

"Hey."

Opening one eye, I looked into her face. "Yeah?"

"I love you so much that it hurts."

I could feel my breath catch, as I closed my eyes again.

She was already in so much pain.

"It doesn't hurt too bad does it?"

She smiled and touched my cheek. "It hurts really bad."

I could only say one useless thing.

"I'm sorry..."


A pause.


"Are you hurting too?"

I opened both eyes.

"More than you can imagine."


Afterwards we did what we do every night I stay late.



Cry.